Why would I?

WHY?
Why would I have chalked 2010 up to a yucky year back in August?
Why would I have been SO ready for the kids to be in school and yet not expecting my time to be different?
Why?

This year has been an odd one for me. We all did pretty well health wise in January but February and March I struggled with a chronic sinus infection. Three rounds of antibiotics and some steroids later I came around. Spring finally arrived and things started to look up a bit but I never felt like I found my stride. Only got part of my garden planted and other things seemed to slip by me.

The HUGE highlight of the year came just as school was ending. We got to have a second family honeymoon (the first one is a long story that I'll share some other time!) Both my parents and my in-laws celebrated their 40Th wedding anniversaries in June so all the kids, spouses and grand kids hung out for a week at the Wisconsin Dells. It was fabulously fun! We did an Army Duck tour, a little outlet mall shopping, ate out, had a family BBQ complete with s'mores and spend time everyday at the amazing water parks. It was great fun with all 16 of us!

BUT... I came home with pneumonia! For 5 days I could not get off the couch to take care of myself, let alone my family. Recovery seemed to last forever and depression settled in with it. A summer routine was never really established and we kind of floundered.

By July I was determined to make some changes. I got a gym membership and started to get things going. Got some business set up for August and started making a daily calendar for the kids which they loved! We were going to make the best of the end of the summer. I left for my business convention and thought it would be a great time at "cheer leading camp" getting excited about what I love to do. Hearing that things were a mess at home sort of doused the high and returning home to have to put our 10 year old dog down and spend a week home without my husband was squelching to my spirit.

Somewhere after the crazy end to July I decided that it would be best if I just swallowed the pill. 2010 was going to be a year to forget, thinking, once I did that it would help me get through. It seemed cynical and unfair to what might be ahead because the year was barely 1/2 over but, it's where I was. Amazingly business boomed for me in August so I got busy getting "things" done.

After the resignation of 2010, I didn't dare to think that having both kids in school would feel like the free time I desired to work my business. The back to school rush and re-adjusting to routine was supposed to feel good. Again, it didn't really change much.

It seemed like things were about to normalize as we headed into Labor Day weekend. Todd and I had a lovely date night and late morning sleep since our kids were with their aunt out at Granny and Popi's house. We planned to join them on Saturday, do a family bike ride, go to a Firehouse pancake breakfast, see a parade and so many other fun things.

Then the CRASH happened. I spent 8 hours in the ER with Todd after he hit a fence post on his bicycle going about 25 mph. He broke his collarbone, dislocated and broke his hip. There was admission into the hospital, surgery, recovery, inpatient rehabilitation, realizing we needed a wheelchair ramp and other home accommodations. Family showing up and doing everything that needed to be done. Friends bringing food so there was a warm meal for me and the kids after a long day at the hospital.... life changed in an instant but it was all going to be OK it was just going to take the rest of 2010 to recover.

What providence God had for my attitude! What an amazing plan He had for the care of my children so they never felt the crisis. Everything that seemed silly and cynical had a place in helping me keep my sanity through such a difficult thing as this was and is. So now, I know I am to be home. To get my house in order, to care for my children, my husband and myself. There will be a little room for my business, sports for the kids and lots of family time but this is a "circle the wagons," "pause and reflect" kind of time for us as we continue to be in awe and watch God shower His blessings over our family in AMAZING ways.